Acing the Arcade! Part 1

WELL, not really. The only game I'm really good at is golf. I've never been quick enough at the mouse to be that good at videogames.

However, I am enjoying some of the games quite a bit, some I don't like at all, and some I keep plugging at and am plain no good.

• Cash Cow. The instructions are "Click on a group of 3 or more matching bottles to sell them. This adds money to your truck." Larger groups earn more money. More bottles come as you progress through levels. I like this game but don't do well at it.

• Cash Cow 2. "Click on two or more bottles of matching color to remove them; the larger the group, the more points you get." Again, I enjoy this one, but I usually tank on Level 3. (I know, that's pathetic.) By some miracle, a couple of times I've reached Level 5.

• Ant Mania. (Picnic 2) Your ant must avoid spiders and red ants while collecting food. Sorry. I'm not playing any games with ants in them.

• Bananza. You must guide a monkey through leaves and vines to collect bananas while avoiding falling coconuts and poisonous spiders. I still haven't figured out how to get up the vines to certain levels. Heck, I haven't left the first level without falling victim to the spiders.

• Zingoz Bounce and Burst. Zingoz are bloblike creatures of various colors that live in Webkinz land. In this one, explorer Livingston the Lion tickles blue bouncing Zingoz. They split. If a Zingoz hits Livingston, you lose a turn. I find this game...impossible.

• Candy Bash. Pancho the chihuahua bounces a big jumping bean from his sombrero, trying to break open pinatas lined up above him. You must bounce the bean in a Pong-like movement without dropping it and also collect the candy to earn points. I wasn't bad at Pong. I'm terrible at this.

• Candy Bash 2. This is one of my favorites, although I never have gotten more than 50KinzCash out of it. Pinatas drop from the sky and Pancho shoots up a jumping bean to break them. You collect the candy in his hat. You must not let the pinatas hit the ground; after three you're out. Every so often a cat flies overhead and you must shoot him to get a special treat: a chile pepper, a firecracker that pops all the pinatas on screen open, a taco. If you're down on lives what you want him to drop is a pear; the fruit gives you an extra life. See! Fruit is good for you.

• Color Storm. You need to direct different color raindrops into groups of four so that they disappear. If they touch the ground you lose. Eh.

• Go-Go Googles. Googles are little ducklike white creatures that inhabit Webkinz world. One Google must push another up into a tree to eat the googly flowers while also swatting the butterflies that the tree is allergic to. If you let too many butterflies land on the tree, it sneezes and the game is over. You have to juggle the Google to get it into the tree. Oy.

• Goober's Lab. Basically Bejeweled...absent minded scientist Goober has a rack of differently colored atoms in his lab. You use an instrument to shift the atoms so that you get three or more in a row. You must be quick at seeing the patterns or time will run out and the lab will explode. How well I do on this one depends on how awake I am.

• Hide'n'Skunk. I don't think I've ever played this. It's "Minesweeper" from Windows with a skunk instead of a mine.

• Hungry Hog. Pac-Man with a pig instead of Pac-Man and bees instead of Inky and his pals. The pig gains points when he eats junk food, but moves slower; if you eat good food, it adds more food you have to eat to clear the board. The bees can sting you unless you eat a power tablet that only lasts for a few seconds. A fun game, but then I always loved Pac and his Ms.

• Jazz Monsters. Haven't played this much. You must click on the musician of the same color as the monster attacking to vanquish him.